Katie
Arnold, MS
Director
of Community Education, Illinois UCEDD
Executive
Director, Sibling Leadership Network
Common
advice for early career professionals is to find a mentor. Sounds easy, right?! As a young professional, eager to learn and
passionate about making a difference, I figured I was a prime target for a
mentor to walk right up to me and say “you are the person I have been waiting
for to share my knowledge and wisdom.” However,
it is not that easy and takes some work and determination on your part to find
mentors throughout your career. I have
had great mentors along the way to get me to where I am today. Yet, I have been surprised at how much effort
it takes to make these connections and foster these relationships. Here are some things I have learned.
The mentoring
relationship
The
mentoring relationship is often a professional relationship where a mentor is
an experienced person who provides guidance to help the mentee develop skills
and knowledge which enhance personal and professional growth. There are different types of mentors for
different things—some are more knowledgeable about content expertise, others have
key leadership skills for you to learn, and some can show you the ropes to
navigate relationships and systems. It
is useful to have different types of mentors for different areas as you develop
in your life and career. Some of these relationships
may be more formal and clearly articulated as mentor/mentee relationships,
while others could be informal and the person may not even know s/he is a
mentor to you or you may not even realize that you are being mentored. Some people may not seem like mentors at the
time, though upon reflection they provided amazing insights that you will keep
with you throughout your career.
Connecting with
a mentor
Finding
a mentor that provides you with the guidance and knowledge you need to develop
can be difficult. And, you may need to
look to various people to fill different roles for you. Sometimes, a mentor might seem perfect on
paper (through all the writings s/he has authored) and not be the right fit for
you when you get together in person. You
may not always “click” with a person regardless of how much you respect his or
her work. Other times, you may have
someone in mind that could be a great mentor, but that person is just too busy
to provide the time you want and need as a mentee.
Start
out by making a list of the people you consider to be mentors right now. Are there ways for you to enhance this mentor
relationship? Does this person know you
consider him/her to be a mentor? Would
it help to articulate the type of relationship you are hoping for or is it not
necessary?
Next,
make a list of any areas that you would like to grow and develop. Are there people that you know who could be a
good fit for these areas? You don’t
always need to ask someone formally to serve as a mentor, though most often,
people are flattered to be asked. It is
a sign that you value their advice and guidance and think you can learn from
them.
Keep
in mind that not everyone knows how to be a good mentor. For some people, it can be a new and unfamiliar
role. Sometimes, it can help for you to be
specific about what you are hoping to gain from the relationship. You may want to suggest regular get-togethers
or ways to connect that would be helpful to you and possible for your
mentor.
Make the most of
your time together
What
do you do when you get together with your mentor? Should you tell him or her about your life
and experiences? Should you ask
questions and absorb every bit of knowledge and wisdom from this person? Yes and yes!
Think strategically about the skills and knowledge you hope to learn
from your mentor and hone in on these in your interactions. You may be connecting with your mentor in the
office, over a beverage or meal, while taking a walk, via phone, email, or
skype. Figure out what works for you and
your mentor to connect regularly or when you need guidance and advice.
Be
sure to tell your mentor how helpful s/he is to you. Show your appreciation. Thank you notes go a long way so consider
writing a thank you card every once in a while.
Try to keep in touch with your mentors over the years by providing him/her
with updates on how you are doing.
Give back—Become
a mentor
Even
though you may be early in your career, you can still become a mentor to
someone else. The knowledge and skills
that you have gained so far will be useful to share with others, so think about
who you could mentor. As someone who has
been mentored, you have a good understanding of how to mentor others. Think about what worked well for you and what
did not really work. Create an open
dialogue with your mentee. Pay it
forward.
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